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Misguided Angel

Reflections on a new year of teaching...

Take it on Faith

The real process of taking down and setting up a classroom is a bit like losing your mind. When I began moving boxes back to school, I was elated. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on my things again, to imagine how everything would fit and how these items that I’ve been collecting for so long would be used again. Let’s just say that after quite a few days of being “blessed with work” I am now closer to rebellion than readiness. All of a sudden housework seems more fun, and don’t you know, I have so much to do at home! But I am a seasoned teacher, am I not? Don’t I know how to handle everything, being so well organized? A part of me wants to spit out the coffee I’ve been drinking as I write this. I’ll try not to for my keyboard’s sake... In spite of how frustrating this feels, I have to remember what I believe: experienced teachers know this is all normal; that in order to be a successful teacher, veteran or rookie, you are always learning and adjusting to the chaos. It is absolutely necessary, in order for it to make sense, that a person has to give up control in order to gain control. I turn to my friends, my books, my family, and many, many fervent prayers to get through this. Some of the prayers are just venting (I wish this mess would burn to the ground and I could start fresh!) and others are more pitiful (God, What did I do to deserve this?), or vengeful (Lord, smite this jerk who won’t set up my computer accounts!) but somehow or another cleaning, sorting, planning, and setup fall into place. Things we thought lost magically reappear. The computers begin to work. You get rid of the cardboard boxes, and you are able to look over the surface of your desk again without climbing on a chair. Most of us are wondering how we’ll get it all done in such a short time, when they are sending us to this and that workshop or volunteering us for all kinds of wacky projects (avoid the office and the librarian in the media center at all costs). The only answer is faith--in God, ourselves, our abilities, our support systems, and sheer luck. Does it make me crazy I believe this? Probably. Most of you are going “IT’S EASIER THAN DONE!” Do you think you anyone is completely in control? Bless your soul, that makes you crazier than me. None of us are, but somehow we’ll all make it. We have to give ourselves permission to go a little coconuts in order to find sanity. As Patrick Overton said, “When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen: There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or, you will be taught how to fly.”
Posted: Monday, July 28, 2008 8:29 AM by JCK
Comments

Betty said:

It's always so exciting to start a new school year.  You have expressed all of the feelings that go along with it regardless of the years of experience.  Those who stay organized all year long amaze me.:)

# July 28, 2008 9:41 AM

Eva said:

Every year, in August, I think "I don't know if I can do this again."  I've thought this for 30 years and, of course, everything (almost) does get done and another classroom of children is taught and loved.  Teaching is such a flurry of activity that the thought of going back to it after leisurely lunching with friends, reading good books,and traveling,seems overwhelming.

I have prayed for strength and knowledge each August to help me through, and I know we will make it through this 31st year too. There's a nervous/happy excitement about beginning.

# July 28, 2008 9:54 AM

Fruit Loops said:

I am currently a student, studying to be an elementary teacher and it is blogs like this that are preparing me - a little at a time - at what I should expect as a teacher.  I am eager to begin teaching but at the same time I feel so unprepared.  I enjoy reading blogs like yours about how you are feeling overwhelmed because it is giving me a perfect example of what to expect.  Giving up control, huh?  That's something I need to master before I get there.  I have to learn that I must give up control before I can gain it.  I am the type of person that enjoys seeing things planned out and organized - all nice and neat.  I know that going into my first classroom (or all classrooms at that) and feeling completely overwhelmed with everything that I plan to do.  I appreciate teachers like you who are real with your feelings and do not try to sugar coat what it really feels like to be a teacher.  I know that being a teacher is going to take LOTS of prayer and LOTS of good friends and family to back me up!  I look forward to reading more of your blogs and learning more about becoming a teacher!

# July 28, 2008 11:50 AM

Heather said:

It is blogs like this that frighten me about my first classroom next year, but I think they also help.  You help me understand the parts of teaching that we aren't told about often.  Everyone wants to inspire us and give a somewhat distorted vision of education.  Unfortunately, that isn't going to help us in the long run.  I appreciate your honesty in this blog.  I love reading anything that will help me better understand my future expectations and responsibilities.  I also wanted to say that I especially enjoyed the quote at the end.  I've never heard that before and I will definitaly have to remember it in order to keep my sanity.  It's hard to remember that tests and trials only last for a little while and they never give you anything that you can't handle (with a little extra help sometimes).  I think the quote was a perfect last thought.

# July 28, 2008 4:30 PM

MysteryTeacher said:

Never fear, if it doesn't get sorted, hide it.  That is my motto.  I never got my stuff unpacked last year and they were still in boxes when they told me to pack up my room so they could add cabinets to my new classroom.  Easy-peasy!  I am going out tomorrow to try to unpack for THIS year.

Good luck on the new year.

# July 28, 2008 10:00 PM

MsP said:

I understand all of those feelings. I'm excited to start the year, but reluctant too. I constantly question myself about what I should do, how I should change things for this upcoming year, and worry that I won't have enough time to get all of my things ready for the kids. I want to put together a class schedule, but can't because the main schedule hasn't been completed. I want to get a lunch/recess schedule put together, but can't because we are still in the process of hiring additional team mates. I want to start writing our 9 week roadmap, but I can't because district personnel haven't finished updating the order of objectives to be taught. I want to start working on my academic lesson plans, but I can't because of all the previous statements. I want to decorate my room and prepare it for the kids, but I can't because we aren't allowed in the building for another 2 weeks. So, what can I do?? I can plan, in my mind. Organize my decorations. Mentally move my classroom furniture around and plan possible floor plans. I can RELAX...it will all come together (I think I need to keep repeating that one for a while :^)

# July 29, 2008 11:44 PM
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